


Thank You, Beth. For All You Do

by cosima-the-geek-monkey (transgressivelesbiangeekspiral)



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-05 11:04:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12793227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transgressivelesbiangeekspiral/pseuds/cosima-the-geek-monkey
Summary: Written for Beth Childs Appreciation Week.Beth sees Sarah on the police database and chooses not to get her involved.Everything she does - it's for her sisters.





	Thank You, Beth. For All You Do

 

After another long and dreary day at the station, Beth took a seat at her desk. It was 5 ‘o clock, the end of the working day, and she should really be going home right now. But she couldn’t face Paul, who just blatantly lied to her face each and every day. She couldn’t see Alison either. She was probably taking her kids to ice hockey or doing some stupid pot-luck with her annoying neighbors.

 

Beth sighed and chose to stare at her log-in screen, hands wrapped around a coffee cup which wasn’t even warm anymore. She had a habit of doing this lately - getting coffees and not drinking them quickly enough. Instead, she just held them in her hands to try and warm herself up.

 

_She felt so cold. Everything felt cold._

  
Paul was _cold,_ the world was _cold._  Conducting cloning experiments was  _cold._   _How many more of us are there?_

 

She knew that there was a lot more, probably scattered all over the world. Her sisters could be in danger, but they may be in even _more_ danger if she was to tell them that they were, indeed, part of an experiment.

Beth sighed as she saw that all too familiar face staring back at her, which was now on the computer screen.

 

Her genetic identical. Her _sister_ \- who happens to have a biological child.

 

Beth still couldn’t get over how and why that was. _Why her and not me? Why can’t I have my own children like she could?_

 

It was something her and Paul had debated very frequently, which often ended in glasses being thrown at the walls in fits of rage. The painful and tedious waiting in the hospital only to find out that she was, in fact, infertile.

She didn’t feel good enough for Paul already, but that fact seemed to confirm it. Some part of Beth was actually _glad_ that she was infertile. _No way_ would she want to be carrying that idiot’s child. _He_ spies _on me, lies to me, and can’t even look me in the eye._

 

Beth made a mental note to ask Raj for the spy kit she can plug in at home before she looked back at the picture of her sister.

 

_Sarah Manning._ She’d found her on the database after Katja alerted there had been someone killing off genetic identicals in Europe. Thanks to the handy facial recognition software, she was able to track down Alison Hendrix, Cosima Niehaus and one other person, which was Sarah.

Her eyebrows raised when she first noticed Sarah’s long history of criminal offenses, a long list of charges of fraud and assault that she seemed to have racked up in her late teens.She was even more surprised when she noticed that she had a child. Not adopted children like Alison, but a biological child.

Because of this, Beth went to ask Cosima and Alison about their infertility, after recently disclosing about her own. Cosima stated that they all must’ve been infertile. When she asked Alison about her infertility, it seemed to have hit a nerve. Alison was rather upset about not being able to have children. 

 

After a long time thinking it over, Beth thought it was best to not bring Sarah into everything. If she did, it may mean placing her in even more danger. Especially if there are people trying to kill them all off. _Especially_ when she has a biological child. _Maybe Sarah is the one who's most at risk. Or, possibly her daughter._

 

Nevertheless, when the police station became empty towards the end of the day, Beth would look at Sarah’s information on the database. She didn’t know why she kept coming back to it.

 

“Hey Sarah,” Beth whispered as she stared at the picture of Sarah’s unhappy mugshot on the screen. “I wonder what you’re up to.”

She had a good idea she might’ve been on the run. With that list of criminal offenses, it's not surprising if she was on the run.

 

Beth was tempted to go on the run herself if she was honest.

 

It was funny how Sarah was exactly the opposite of her, despite having the same DNA. Maybe if she wasn’t such a _goody two shoes_ she might’ve gone down Sarah’s path.

She also found it funny how, all at once, she finds out that she now has sisters - probably dozens, scattered all over the world. After all that time, of growing up alone and miserable, longing for a family, it looked like she’d been given one.

 

Not the type of family she hoped for, but still a family regardless.

 

Maybe if she had found her sisters earlier, her life would’ve been different. In her teens, she probably would’ve been comforted by the thought she actually had relatives, rather than an abusive, _disgusting_  father, who just took all the good out of her, turning everything to darkness. Leaving her defenseless.

Beth shook her head to not think of those thoughts and continued to look at Sarah.

“I wish I was a bit more like you. Not giving a shit,” she mumbled, resting her head on her hand as she defeatedly stared at the picture. This continued for some time until she clicked on Sarah’s foster brother also on the system, Felix Dawkins. He was also stood looking rather miserable as he posed to have his mugshot taken.

_Ahh. A foster family of criminals._  
Beth wished she had a foster brother or just a brother in general. Growing up as an only child was lonely, especially with-

 

_No._

 

Beth closed her eyes before opening them again, trying to shake all thoughts of her shitty excuse of a childhood away.

 

Beth looked at Felix for a while too. He also seemed _quite_ a character, racking up offenses of possession, solicitation, public urination. A small smile crept up on her face. _I wonder why he’d do that?_

Both brother and sister have a history with the police. Beth just hoped to never have to question him. That _would_ be awkward.

 

After a few more minutes of reading up on Sarah’s details, Beth soon logged off on the computer. She didn’t need Hardcastle on her case for this too. He was already onto her about her meetings with the counselor.

 

After quickly putting on her coat, Beth took one last glance at her desk, at the picture of herself and Paul smiling, in happier times. _Screw you._

She huffed as she shoved the picture into the drawer of the desk, placing it amongst wrappers of donut papers and muffin cases.

 

She had no idea where she’d go. Right now, Beth would usually wander the streets, or drive somewhere desolate and just sit for a while, wondering what on Earth to do. Maybe she could try her luck with talking to MK again, although that probably won't pay off.

In a rash and dangerous decision, she ended up driving all the way to Bailey Downs, sitting in her car with the engine off, staring at Alison’s house for a while. _I shouldn’t be here. Should I tell Alison about Sarah?_

Beth bit her lip and drove away after a few minutes, resisting the urge to look in Alison’s windows as she drove past, like many of her snooty neighbors would do.

 

_Not today, Sarah. Not today._

 

* * *

 

 

Not long after, on a rather stressful day and a rude awakening, thanks to MK, Beth walked through the station again, this time, looking for clues and leads on these weird people MK had encountered in the woods. As she walked, she heard a distinct voice.

“Look, constable, I only popped around for a drink.”

_British accent._

She chanced a brief glance.

 

_Felix Dawkins._

 

Making sure her face could not be seen, she turned her back to him, instead heavily focusing on getting a cup of coffee. She surely needed the caffeine. She’d run out of pills.

Felix continued to talk to the officer, seemingly done with being interrogated. “It was a performance piece,” he said tiredly.

 

Beth tried not to laugh. _Public urination? As a performance piece? This guy has got balls. I don’t want to see them, though._

 

Not wanting to look weird by standing around, listening in and smiling, Beth saw an opportunity when Raj came walking along with his trolley of gadgets.

“Woah woah woah Raj, you could’ve killed somebody there,” she joked, even though Raj wasn’t that close to her and she actually jumped out at him. It seemed to work though, as Raj shyly smiled as he always seemed to.

“Thanks, Beth,” he replied, clearly embarrassed. Beth thought to herself briefly before going in and doing it.

“Straight up,” she closed her eyes with a toothy smile, not liking how forward she was being, cringing at her own attempts to sweeten up Raj to get the spy kit. “I need a favor.”  
Raj looked on, clearly willing to help Beth out. “This Paul shit I’ve been telling you about,”

 

Her eyes flicked again to Felix, who had now finished his questioning and was on his way out. _That was a close one Beth. You’re lucky he didn’t see you._

 

“You want to break up with him?” Raj asked with hope. Beth knew Raj liked her. He was nerdy, but cute in his own way.

“I think he’s cheating on me."

Raj's eyebrows raised. “Oh.” Beth found it quite endearing how surprised he was to learn that Paul would possibly cheat on her.

“Think I could borrow a little surveillance camera on the DL?” Beth flashed a small smile.

“Uhh, yeah,” Raj said like it was no big deal. Beth was sure to give him a bigger smile now. She _knew_ he’d help out, he was putty in her hands after all.

Her smile soon faded though as Hardcastle came walking along. At least Art was there for backup.

After an awkward confrontation, Beth walked on out of the station and hopped in the car. _Shit. That was really close. She just hoped Felix hadn’t caught sight of her._

 

_Sarah doesn’t need to know._

 

Beth studied the picture on her phone of what she saw at the crime scene earlier that day.

_No, Sarah definitely does not need to know._

 

* * *

 

 

_Looks like I’m no better than Sarah. I’m a criminal, a bad person._

_I shot a civilian. I don’t think Sarah has ever killed anyone, although she looks like she probably could._

 

_I’m worse than Sarah._

 

Beth stood watching the forensics vans pull up and listened to the sound of sirens wailing. When she watched the ambulance arrive, she thought, _‘what would Sarah do?’_

 

_Run away, probably. Probably shoplift, maybe con someone’s bank and get the hell out of there. Hell, she could probably run away right now. Clear the bank, take all of Alison’s money, jump on a plane to the Seychelles._

 

_No, I can’t._

 

_I’ve already fucked things up too much. I’ve involved Art into this shit, shot an innocent civilian._

Maggie Chen. She probably had children, a family, something to live for.

 

_More than I have._

 

_Plus, stealing Alison's money is out of the question._

 

_All in one day, I’ve shot an innocent person, slept with my partner, almost shot my lying boyfriend, probably lost my badge, and most likely put the others in danger._

 

And to top it all off, a neolutionist is in the police. Working alongside her. A neolutionist is overseeing the case, of all people.

_Can things get any worse?_

 

 

Beth soon finds herself in the warmth of MK’s small trailer, sat on the couch as she watches Mika make iced tea. She should’ve stayed off the radar, just like MK was doing.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have told Cosima. Or Alison. I’ve brought my partner into it too.”

MK looked at Beth with sympathy, unsure of what to say. Beth watched as MK mixed the crystals of iced tea with water.

 

_Is this what my life is now? After the day I’ve had, I’m sharing iced tea with my genetic identical?_

 

_Sister_ would be a better word, she thinks as Mika sits down next to her on the couch, trying to reassure her.

“I can’t even think anymore.”

“I’ll think now. I usually think all night.”

Beth sighed as she leaned back on the couch, MK looking at her before she timidly placed a hand on Beth’s arm.

 

The closest thing to a sister, Beth thought. For once, she found a friend. Still, she couldn’t help but think she was placing her in danger by just being there.

 

_Nope._

Beth closed her eyes.

_Definitely can’t tell Sarah now._   

 

* * *

 

 

Beth was now sat at the kitchen table, a look cast at the blonde wig, the keycard, the bottle of pills and the loaded handgun that sat in front of her. 

 

_I need to do this. For my sisters._

It was only a few hours ago she was holding a handgun, but that was at the shooting range, teaching Alison to shoot.

She couldn't break her promise, not when-

 

Beth gulped. She had no idea whether she was coming out of this alive. _It needed to be done, she needed to finish this._

After readying herself in the bathroom, she walked back through and picked up her items, ready to leave, until she saw the familiar card near to the bottles of whiskey that were lying around from the other night. 

 

_Thank you, Beth. For all you do._

_\- Alison x_

A tear formed in Beth's eye as she continued to look at the card, then rolled down her cheek as she placed the card next to the vase of flowers on the table. 

_I'm sorry Alison. But this is for you. And Cosima, and Mika._

 

_And Sarah._

 

* * *

 

 

Alison's words echoed through Beth's head as Beth stormed into the event, managing to get Susan Duncan on her own and on her knees in the washroom. She deserved it - she needed to go down. Her words about her mother - and _father,_ made Beth feel even angrier. 

 

"If I kill you, it's over." Beth spluttered and steadied her fast breathing as she held the gun at the back of Susan's head. "The monitors, the testing." She released a sigh. "The _lies._ "

"You control neolution. No one controls the idea. Kill me and someone will take my place." Susan said, trying to remain calm, although her shaking hands suggested otherwise. "But they will not protect you as I have."

"Protect us from what?" Beth questioned, still not lowering her weapon. 

"From my own mistakes." Beth kept her gun pressed into Susan's hair, even when she turned her head. "Beth, whatever you think you know, you _must_ believe this."

Beth looked down at Susan, her features softening slightly as she heard the sincerity in Susan's voice, but still kept the gun aimed.

"I have devoted my life to sustaining yours," Susan said, her voice breaking in emotion. Beth listened. She could draw some of her own parallels to Susan's words. She made too many mistakes, shooting Maggie Chen, making Alison and Cosima self-aware......

 

She devoted her life to watching out for her sisters, although she felt she wasn't doing a great job.

 

"Without me, your sisters will wither on the vine...." Susan's voice broke again, and Beth blinked as tears began to form in her eyes. _Alison. Cosima. Mika. Katja. Sarah. God knows how many other sisters she has._ "And I cannot bear that."

 

_Thank you, Beth. For all you do._

 

_'I'll think now. I usually think all night.'_

 

_'We need answers, Beth.'_

 

All Beth could hear was her sister's voices in her head, as the gun swayed in her hand. It didn't help that she had flashbacks of this afternoon with Alison, teaching her how to shoot. Her smile, her _laugh,_ her jolt when she fired a gun for the first time and her excitement to shoot again. 

 

Or flashbacks of MK, stirring her iced tea, moving her hair to cover her face, shyly admitting she didn't have many friends the first time Beth saw her. _She has such a beautiful face._

 

And Cosima. The way she enthusiastically moved her hands when talking about science, dreadlocks flying. 

 

Even a miserable looking Sarah, in her police mugshot. They were all her sisters. And they were all _beautiful._

 

_If anything happened to them, if anything happened to Ali-_

 

"I love you all." Susan cried. Beth fought the urge to cry. _I love them too._ "I love you."

"Close your eyes," Beth demanded, realizing she needed to leave as quickly as possible.

 

Shuddering, Susan closed her eyes, expecting the bullet any second. When she didn't feel the gun pressed against her head and heard the sound of footsteps, along with a door slam, she panted and released a breath. 

 

Outside, Beth ran up to the car Evie Cho was escaping in. 

 

_Now, she's gonna get assaulted._

 

_Sarah Manning, eat your heart out._

 

 

* * *

 

 

"You set me up."

Beth approached Evio Cho in the backseat of the car, pointing the gun towards her. Evie squirmed before her. 

"No, I didn't." Evie gasped. "You said you wanted to put an end to this, to free your sisters." Her eyes lingered on the gun.

"By killing the head of Neolution. She made us. She _needs_ us." Beth grabbed Evie with force, aiming the gun at her jaw. "Not you. You just want to take her place." Beth's grip got tighter. " _It's not happening!_ "

"Oh, it is. I'll find another way. Susan's done, just like your sisters-"

"Don't _talk_ about my sisters." Beth interrupted.

"Beth, you know too much now." Evie began to shout.

"If you run, Neolution will cauterize your life. Alison, Cosima, your parents, Paul." Beth's expression began to change from anger to that of emptiness, and her lip began to tremble.

 

_Alison, Cosima._

 

_I don't care about my parents, or should I say, my father. Nor do I care about Paul._

_But......Alison......_

_Cosima....._

_Cannot die._

 

"Then I'll pull the trigger right now." Beth bit back, though it was clear Evie had made an impression as her voice began to sound shaky.

"You won't end it. You wanna save the people you love? Use that gun on yourself."

"Do you think I'm afraid to die?" Beth bravely replied back, her eyes piercing into Evie. "Do you think I'm scared of anything right now?"

 

 

Beth whacked her with force, gun in her hand. A swift whack knocked Evie into the headrest. _That's for my sisters._ Another whack. _You._ Yet another whack. _Fucking._  Blood started to spill as Beth gave Evie another hard hit. _Bitch._

 

Beth beat the hell out of her, there was blood everywhere, mostly on her knuckles. The only sounds were Evie's grunts as Beth's fist connected to her jaw and repeatedly made contact with her face. That was until Duko opened the passenger door. 

"Beth!"

 

_Shit._

 

He pointed his gun at her, and Beth was quick to point her gun back.

 

"Don't make me kill a cop."

"Don't make me." Beth trembled. "Is it true?" Her lip twitched as she clasped tight on the gun. "Will my sisters die for what I know?"

"They've done it before. What's your play, Beth?"

 

_To get the hell out of here._

 

Duko continued to point the gun and stare, and Beth glared back, both guns drawn at the ready. Beth kept her gun drawn as she wriggled away, and she managed to open the other passenger door with her free hand; the other hand kept a steady grip on the gun. She stared Duko down before closing the door, trying to run in her heels as fast as she could. 

 

_I'm sorry Alison, Cosima, Mika, Sarah._

_I screwed it all up._

 

* * *

 

After managing to wash Evie Cho's blood off her hands, Beth stared at herself in the mirror. Her hand opened the medicine cabinet, and she briefly eyed her pills, until she heard Evie's words ring through her head.

 

_'If you run, Neolution will cauterize your life. Alison, Cosima, your parents, Paul.'_

She blinked in the mirror. The pills are temporary. They won't change anything. The Neolutionists will soon be after her, anyway.

 

_'You wanna save the people that you love? Use that gun on yourself.'_

 

_I can't run anyway from this and endanger the others. I have to go._

 

 

 

Beth stormed out of the bathroom, only to be met with a concerned Mika.

 

"It's over! We're done! I'm done! I screwed it up." Beth shouted at Mika, who backed into the nearest chair. Mika looked on in worry. "We can't fight this anymore Mika!"

 

Beth approached Mika and placed the handgun in her palm. _She may need it one day._ "You need to drop all this." She said quietly. "Go back into hiding." Beth let out a sigh. 

 

_At least then, you'll be safe._

 

"Drink iced tea, play video games, whatever." _Safer than Cosima and Alison, who I've already endangered, now they know we're onto them._ "Just stay hidden."

 

_'I have to keep everyone that I care about safe.'_   Duko's words from not too long ago found their way into Beth's head. 

 

"Please don't leave me." MK pleaded as she watched Beth slowly walk to the door. When Beth turned around and saw MK's petrified face, she didn't want to leave either.

 

_'And you want that too. Don't you, Beth?'_

 

_If I stay, I'll just leave you in danger, Mika. I'd leave you in danger, Alison in danger, along with Cosima, the rest of our sisters....._

 

_I can't let that happen. I can't run either._

 

_I have to go._

 

MK's sad eyes caused Beth to quickly walk over and envelope her in what was meant to be a warm hug. The embrace just screamed fear of what was to come and goodbyes. 

_Beth hated goodbyes._

 

_What she hated more though, was not knowing when it'd be the last time you'd see someone. If that were true, she would've stayed with Alison longer, made her laugh more so she could see her smile, instead of looking away._

_She wished she could see Cosima talk on and on about weird science things that she couldn't even begin to comprehend._

_She wished she could've met Sarah. Maybe even meet her daughter. She was an auntie._

 

_Auntie Beth._

"Watch the others for me." Beth whispered softly, staring ahead. The light had gone out of her eyes as she thought of her sisters, who she won't get to see again. It was better that than seeing what the Neolutionists would do to them if she was alive.

After the hug that ended too quickly, Beth walked straight out of the house, not looking back at MK, who hopelessly watched as she left. If she did look back, it'd make her crack.

 

_I have to be strong. For my sisters._

 

Beth knew if she gave in to MK's puppy eyes, she wouldn't be able to cope. 

 

_You'll find friends one day, Mika. Good friends, better than me. I just hope you watch over the others better than I ever did._

 

* * *

 

 

And so off Beth went, the journey to the train station feeling like the longest journey she had ever taken. As she walked down the tunnel, familiar words echoed as she walked into the light, past the point of no return. 

_'Thank you, Beth. For all you do.'_

It was then she knew she was doing the right thing. She could almost hear Alison speak the words herself, hearing her warm voice as Alison smiled at her.

So, she repeated the words like a mantra, keeping the feeling relayed in her brain. 

 

At the edge of the platform, hearing the train approaching. 

_'Thank you, Beth. For all you do.'_

That's when she sees her. 

 

_Sarah Manning._  

 

Brief eye contact is made, and Sarah looks like she's about to scream.

 

_This is for you Ali, Cos, Mika, Sarah......_

A tear fell from her eye as Beth turned to face the direction of the train, the sound of the train getting louder.

 

_I wish I got to know you, Sarah._

 

_You seem like a lot of fun._

 

In the background, Alison's voice became even quieter, before fading away completely.

 

 

 

_'Thank you, Beth. For all you do.'_

 


End file.
